What is normal?
Jun 27, 2011 
I think most writers have been labeled “weird” at some point in their lives. (Especially those of us who write science fiction and fantasy!) We like reading more than most people, we’re often into geeky things, we’re happy being totally alone for long stretches of time, we do things in the name of writing and creativity that would land other people in some sort of therapy. (See previous post about talking to oneself while writing!) I think part of why joining the writing community online is so much fun and such a revelation for so many aspiring writers is because you realize for potentially the first time that you’re not alone. You’re not weird–you’re brilliant.
But something that has struck me recently is how, despite finally escaping a world where we’re considered “weird,” so many of us are so concerned with following the “normal” path to publication. What is normal anyway? I mean, really?
Everyone knows by this point that I love me some geekery, so it should come as no surprise to hear that I recently finished rewatching the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation, including the movies. They’re awesome to have on in the background when packing and cleaning, two things I’ve been doing a lot of over the past few months. The only reason I bring this up is that buried in one of the movies was a fantastic quote on normal:
“Normal is what everyone else is and you are not.”
How true is that? It totally blew my mind. Wisdom in science fiction, I tell you.
There’s such a wealth of information on the internet about how to go from aspiring writer to published novelist that, to me, it’s not surprising so many people get caught up in the process. I was talking to a writer friend of mine about her experience landing an agent, and she was saying how stressful she found it. She ended up getting an agent in a slightly different way than “normal,” and ended up having to deal with a significant amount of stress because of that. Not so much that it was hard, as that she felt as though she was skipping parts of the process that she was supposed to have done, because everyone else does it that way, and that’s clearly the “right” way to do it. The normal way.
Yeah, there’s a lot of advice out there on how to go from A to B. But it’s not the only way. It’s not even the correct way, or the best way. It’s just one path. I keep reminding myself of this as I move forward, because I find myself suffering the same thing. “Hang on,” I think to myself, “Friend A got an editorial letter while I’m working more on a back and forth basis with my editor. Is that bad? Am I doing something wrong?” But the thing is, I actually like this way better. It works for me. It might not be “normal” in the strictest sense, in that everyone hears about the editorial letter as the next step in the process, but so far I think it’s the best way possible for me, for this book, with this editor.
I think it’s pretty important not to let “normal” get to us as writers. We haven’t yet–I mean, did any of you stop reading in school when you got teased for being a bookworm? When new acquaintances silently judged you when you said you were a writer? When teachers or critique groups told you that you weren’t writing normal fiction? Of course not. So why let “normal” bog us down us now? Embrace it. When the road diverges, don’t be afraid when you take the one less traveled.
(Robert Frost gets me.)
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My Mother taught me that I’m normal, it’s the rest of the world that’s out of step. That kept me going for a long time but I don’t need it any more. If you ask my 14 year old girls, they’ll turn their nose up at ‘normal’. According to them, ‘normal’ is for people who don’t have the imagination to be different. Everyone in my household is ‘different’ 🙂
That’s an excellent way of looking at it! Sounds like your girls have had a great role model. 🙂
Great post, as usual!
Thanks!
I think of it like this: We are each our own normal and that’s the only normal we should be.
Good thoughts here, Meagan.
I love that! We’re each our own normal. 🙂 I’m going to remember that…
I’m not weird, I’m brilliant! That’s should be a mantra. Thanks for the post. It’s good to know I’m not the only only weirdo around.
Hee! Isn’t that one of the great things about the writing community?
Awesome post! I used to babysit for a little girl who was wacky and wonderful. When the other kids called her weird she just smiled really big and said “thank you” because her parents had taught her that she was her own normal. I hope that if I ever have kids I can do the same and I always think of her when I start to feel like being ‘weird’ is a bad thing.
P.S. Science Fiction is TOTALLY wise 🙂
That sounds like an AWESOME little girl! What a fantastic outlook on life, and a great response to people who don’t understand her. Wish I’d thought of that when I was little!
I think many of us step to the beat of our own drummer, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Great post about reminding us to be ourselves.
Definitely. Can you imagine if we weren’t all different and unique? Ugh!
After years, I gave up on agents and editors. Now I realize that the problem I had was that I had a ya voice but my characters were and are in their twenties. Now there is a new category for writers like me called, New Age. However, I am self published the e-book way and unless an agent or publisher comes after me I won’t look for them. I don’t know if that is smart or foolish, I just know I got tired of their excuses.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium
I think the New Adult thing is really interesting–as a 20-something myself who loves YA, it’s a genre that definitely appeals to me!
And really–finding a form of publishing that works for you and makes you happy is really the most important thing! Not what other people tell you is necessary. 🙂
Love this post, Meagan. I am absolutely not normal : ) And proud of it.
Yaay! We totally need a flag or something. A weirdo flag. 😛
I’m still oohing and aahing over your cover!!!! You must be SO psyched!
Great post Meagan! Normal is boring. Of course it took me 35 years to figure that out. Beloved Husband and I love TNG too!
TNG is the best! Yeah, a little campy sometimes, but that’s why I love it. 😛
Great post. I heartily agree. There is more than one way to write a book and more than one way to get published. And normal? Pfft, who wants to be normal? 😉
Agreed, on all points!
I’ve been having similar thoughts this week. We really can’t compare ourselves to others. We need to just embrace our own experiences. Wonderful post.
I do think that with so much stuff out there online, we’re a lot more prone to worrying if our paths don’t match up to others. Thanks!
I love that ‘you’re weird’ is a compliment in our household.
I think doing things differently to other people can be stressful–because there’s a way you’re ‘supposed’ to do things, and also because sometimes, that ‘supposed’ is there for a reason. For me, the key is to work out what that reason is, and if you’re achieving what you need–if so, forge your own path! As we usually do 😉
That’s true. No one would accuse us of doing things the way everyone else does them. And I think we (and our writing) is far better for it!
I never bother with what’s normal… if anything, I am above being normal—I am special and love my life—if you want to have a blast just hang around for a bit, the party is about to start.
Normal is average—why would anyone wish to be average?
I actually LIKE to think that writers are not normal. We are a different kind of people. Oh, and there was a quote somewhere that said,
A writer is not a person. He is a bunch of different people trying to be one person.
Or something xD
But it’s so true.. Writers are more sensitive and open and dark and… No words for what we are but we are certainly not normal.
Normal has a very *ordinary* sort of ring to it..