Books That Make You Want to Quit
May 10, 2011 
Do you ever finish reading a book and just want to throw it across the room and cry and never touch paper/keyboard again, because you’ll never be that good? I was chatting the other day with my friend Caitlin about this–“So good you just want to kill yourself,” was the way she put it, though with her it’s film and animation and opera that gets her. I always end up with this unbearable desperation when I read a book like that, this fury and passion bubbling up inside me where I want to dive into my chair and write until my hands fall off, and simultaneously move away and change my name and never think about writing again.
The thing is, the books that make me want to quit are also the books that make me want to write. Yes, reading them is this super painful reminder that there is such a long way to go on my own path in terms of writing, but reading them is also a reminder that I have no choice but to keep following it.
So, in the interest of shared masochism, I wanted to show you guys some of the books that affected me this way, and still do to this day. And, hopefully, hear some of the books that do this for you. Because come on, let’s share the agony!
The Last Unicorn, by Peter Beagle
This is a book that has grown with me as I’ve gotten older. I saw the movie before I ever read the book, and watched it obsessively–like more than once a week–as a little kid. Then, when I read the book, it was even more magical. The book was just as amazing when I picked it up nearly a decade later to reread it. The story has a lot to do with magic and growing up and how the wonder fades from the world, and what must happen to regain it, and… oof. I can’t even describe it. The prose is also so gorgeous it makes me cry–not because of the subject matter, just because the sheer words are so good that I can’t stand it. It’s the book I’d choose to have with me if I had no others.
The Giver, by Lois Lowry
Another book that changes with me as I grow. You realize things about Jonas’ world that you just aren’t capable of understanding when you read it as a young child. (Or, at least, I wasn’t!) This story is so beautiful and haunting, and the writing so simple and true, that it makes me look at my long tangled manuscripts and convoluted sentences and despair of ever having that economy and power with my writing.
What books make you want to quit? Or if we’re feeling more positive today, what books make you want to write?
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I can’t remember who I stole the phrase from, but for me they’re ‘books that make me want to throw my laptop off a bridge’.
I have a long list, but a couple that come immediately to mind due to recent reading are:
ARTEMIS FOWL – Eoin Colfer
THE GIRL SAVAGE – Katherine Rundell
HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE – Diana Wynne Jones
WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON – John Green and David Levithan
They make me want to quit and make me want to write all at once!
Oh, Will Grayson… seriously!
Yeah, I could have included a list ten books long, but I figured people’s eyes would start to glaze over after a while. 😛 All part of my attempts to make my blog posts nice and concise… (hah!)
Hurrah! I am blog muse! Wagner tends to make me want to kill myself (in more ways than one…). Horrible personality and beliefs aside, there are moments in his music that make me feel like I can see the cosmos and my head is going to explode and wonder how people can ever be the same again with this music in the world? But then it repeats itself for another 20 minutes and I eventually get over it… The Beatles give me a lot of angst too – the progress of their output, their influence on popular and musical culture – and I will find myself sitting with furrowed brows thinking “HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!” And, of course, the films of Terry Gilliam always provoke me to completely reevaluate myself and the world around me.
Oh man–YES YES YES to the head exploding and not knowing how people can be the same. I’m like that with books! It’s this unbelievable feeling inside my chest and auuggghhh.
It’s difficult to express, but not at all difficult to channel. It’s definitely the drive that makes me write! Can’t wait to get back. Artist house will be best house. 😛
I just had to say that you sound awesome (I also love film, esp. animated ones) and thanks for representing the awesome name of Caitlin so well.
Books that make me want to quit writing? Jandy Nelson’s THE SKY IS EVERYWHERE and Melina Marchetta’s JELLICOE ROAD. For me, those books balance gorgeous writing with fantastic characters, and mangae to nail this raw emotional nerve that I’m always striving to reach with my own writing.
I started reading Jellicoe Road while I was back in the U.S. for a visit, but then I couldn’t bring the copy back with me because of luggage weight issues! Auuughhh!
I sooo have to read The Sky is Everywhere. I’ll add it to my list. Thank you so much for the recommendations! Love it!
If you’re still in Australia (are you in Australia?) it was published there first under the title On the Jellicoe Road and yeah, Melina Marchetta is too amazing for proper words. For me reading The Great Gatsby (and then reading my little sister’s writing) and realising no matter how hard I tried and how long I worked on it I’d never be that good was the moment I realized I’d never be a fiction author. I still hold out a sliver of hope for being the next James Herriot though.
Hmmm I had to think about this one! I don’t know why I find it embarrassing to admit this, but as both a reader and a writer, I’ve always been more about the story than the writing. I guess it’s because I know that I’ll never be able to craft something as beautiful and lyrical as some of the stuff out there (of course, no specific examples come to mind at the moment). Perhaps it is cliche, but Harry Potter makes me sit back and think, “I could never, ever pull that off. Ever.” Like, much has been said about how JK Rowling’s writing is weak, but her world-building and the emotions she can evoke in like, 500,000 million people in all corners of the globe is crazy! I would kill to have her world-building skills.
Actually, I don’t think that’s embarrassing at all. I actually value story over writing too–I had to go back and look at my two choices to even see what you were talking about! 😛 But you’re right, I did talk about the style and the prose in each selection. I don’t think those books would have stuck with me though if the stories themselves weren’t absolutely amazing.
I think the beautiful and lyrical just comes with time and practice, really. (At least, I hope it does!) I think those who set out to write beautiful and lyrical prose probably end up with a monster of a book, and certainly not one I’d want to read! Give me Harry Potter over the big literary books any day. 😉
You’ll have to forgive me this morning because this particular topic has touched a nerve. I’ll try not to be too passionate in my response since this is the first time I have visited your lovely blog. 🙂
I do not understand the envy one writer feels for another’s work. I do not get it, *at all.* How is it that people with the intelligence and sensitivity to be moved enough to put pen to paper can even dream about comparing their spirit to that of another?
Each one of us has a completely unique perspective and voice to bring to the table and in reading other people’s words which resonate with me, all I have ever felt is less alone.
Again, I hate to sound like I’m preaching or on some kind of soapbox but I cannot beg writers enough to celebrate each other rather than allow, I don’t know, insecurity? To cause them to feel like their work isn’t its own shining offering. It also helps to keep in mind that the words we read in a revered, published novel did not simply flow from the pen in that state. As Enrique Jardiel Poncela once said, ‘When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing.’
It’s all just matter of growth.
Forgive my rambling. I press ‘submit comment’ with trepidation but hope the good intentions with which I have written this come across.
You make a good point – it is not really constructive to constantly compare oneself to other writers (or artists, etc.,) and we should be more concerned with find our own voices than worrying about living up to anyone else’s.
That said, I think the point of Meg’s post was to draw attention to these people that make us feel so inadequate and yet motivate us to be so much better. I don’t think these comparisons are meant to be negative – it’s a kind of inspiration. These are the works that symbolize everything we want our work to be and believe it could be. To me the “so good I want to kill myself” works and artists are my idols and heroes. They make me want to do what I want to do.
I do think you make a fair point, but I also think we cannot help but compare ourselves. And doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
First of all, I absolutely welcome debate here–this is obviously something you’re really passionate about, and how can I get upset about that? 🙂
But actually, I think we’re more on the same page than you think. For all my joking about making me want to quit, this isn’t about envy–which I consider a negative thing–but about admiration and respect. These are books that inspire me but also keep me humble–they remind me that there’s always room to improve, and that I have a long path in front of me. It’s about the drive to always make my craft better and better, and that’s really important to me.
As Caitlin says, comparison doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You’ll notice that despite these books, I haven’t quit–they may be books that “make me want to quit” but they also happen to be the books that make me want to -write-.
An interesting contradiction, Meagan. Good books have the power to inspire, but they can also make writers come to the realization that they still have a lot to learn. I have found more inspiration than insecurity in reading good books. (You could also call it an eagerness to get better.) I recently finished reading The Shadow of the Wind. In some passages, I was in awe with the descriptions and characterization. For a brief moment, it made me insecure (“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write like this”) but the overall experience was positive. Good books teach us about execution and open a window of possibilities for writers (“you can do that?”)
PS. Absolutely love your blog design!
For me it’s definitely all mixed together. Realizing I have a lot of room to improve is part of what inspires me to try harder and keep working. I haven’t yet written the best book I’ll ever write, after all–plenty of room to grow!
I so agree with what you’ve said about how good books show us the possibilities. That was definitely my experience reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson. I’d never read an alternating POV book that I actually loved, and then I turn around and that book was by far my favorite book of the year. Now, I’m working collaboratively on an alternating POV book of my own! It’s all about what good books teach us–that we can get even better, that there’s so much untapped potential within us and within the world, that however daunting the task may be, we owe it to ourselves and everyone else not to give up.
(And thanks for the web site compliments!! I can’t take credit for it–my amazing friend Kim designed it. Shameless plug for her, but she’s taking freelance clients right now! :P)
I’m going to second the Harry Potter books 🙂
Not that they make me want to quit, but I know what you mean when you come across a book that makes you think “I don’t know if I could ever write something this good.” But you’re right, they’re inspiring too!
Looove Harry Potter! I definitely agree, those are some seriously inspirational books. The “want to quit” is more a tease than anything… makes me throw my hands in the air and go “AUGH!” and then sit down at my desk and try to figure out how they did that. 😛
I swear Harry Potter delayed my writing career by at least six months. Really. I just thought, well I can’t do THAT. Later when I read the Hunger Games trilogy, I fought off those feelings and made it a challenge to myself. Something I can aspire to.
Man, HP is getting so much love on this post! And actually, I had that after reading the first Hunger Games book as well! Especially because I was actually in the middle of writing a dystopian novel at the time, I was like “Well… should I even bother?”
I guess the trick is to make sure those feelings get channeled into creativity–like you said, a challenge for yourself, something to which you can aspire!
Your statement, “the books that make me want to quit are also the books that make me want to write,” is the exactly how I feel about brilliant books too. I think they weigh more heavily toward the wanting to write though. I find them inspirational.
Yes! I think that’s the difference between writers and avid readers. Readers think “Wow, that was amazing! How does she do that?” while writers think “Wow, that was amazing! How can I do something like that?”